Letters from the Heart
by roxygoth
Summary: He can't do this anymore. He can't lead. Not if leading means putting his feelings aside like he has been for the past 5 years. Because he can't do that. He can't. He can NOT put his feeling aside any longer, otherwise he risks going even crazier than he already is. And he is crazy, he must be. No sane person would do this to themselves surely? Right?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Roxy Goth here. I'm taking a little break from writing my Rise of the TMNT Fanfic series, however I still want to write TMNT fanfiction, so I came up with this little idea/drabble.**

**I do not own TMNT in any way, shape or form.**

Leo was worried. Granted, this wasn't unusual. In fact, for him, it was fairly standard to be permanently anxious but he had to admit it had been worse than usual. And the course of all this anxiety?

Well. Take a guess. Actually take four. That's right – his brothers and Splinter.

Said worries where sitting round the table now. Mikey was happily talking about his video games, Raph was standing by the toaster, trying his best to tune out this noise, excluding annoyance from every pore as he stood there with his arms crossed and teeth gnashing.

Even from this distance Leo could see the bags under Raphael's eyes. He tutted gently to himself as he eat his muesli. No doubt Raph and Casey had been defending the vulnerable and fighting Foot Ninjas. Now – the first one Leo had no issues with. It was commendable, even if Raphael did put a little TOO much vigour into pursuing the attackers. No, it was the second one that concerned Leo. One slip up and –

He shuddered. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Are you alright, my son?" Their father asked.

"Hai Sensei." Leo replied, automatically. "Just cold."

Splinter nodded wisely. "Yes. It's approaching winter. You must remember to wear your coats when you go outside."

Leo nearly laughed out loud. Fighting the foot ninjas while dressed in a wonzie would really be a sight to behold. However, partly because he was the leader and partly because he didn't want to seem insane, he fought the urge and just hummed a reply.

Yes. Winter was coming. That was another thing. Splinter was getting older, more prone to illness. Who knows if he'd survive the winter? Leo's hand tightened around his spoon. Splinter couldn't die. He couldn't. Leonardo needed him. They all needed him, he couldn't –

"That remind me, I need to look at the heating." That was Donnie. Of course. Who else could remember the long, long, long list of things that needed fixing around the lair?

Ugh, Donatello. Leo resisted the very tempting urge to smack his head against the table. He's only just walked in, but had already located the coffee machine and was standing by it impatiently. Leo was certain his purple-banded brother had a coffee addiction. He drank about five cups a day, that couldn't be healthy, surely?

"Oh, Donnie, that reminds me. I broke my game-boy, can you take a look at it?" Mikey.

"Mikey, I think Donnie's got enough to think about without you adding to it." Leo said, sternly.

Mikey turned the puppy-dog eyes on him. "But Leeeeoooo! There's only a little fault with it, it won't take long, I promise!"

"Isn't it me you're meant to be promising that to?" Donnie said, dryly as he stirred his coffee. "Seeing as I'm going to be fixing it and everything?"

As Mikey turned his pleading to his immediate older brother, Leo surreptitiously rolled his eyes and took a sip from his tea. Fine. Whatever. If Donnie wanted to kill himself fixing stuff, then fine. He'd just leave him to it. He wouldn't even check on him.

[Of course he'd check on him, he'd always check on him. The threats' where emptier than Donnie's coffee cup]

"-Yo, Leo. Leo. Leo." Said turtle zoned back in just in time to see Raph looking in concern at him.

"What, Raphael?"

"You wanna train?"

Train. Training was good. He knew where he was with training.

"…Sure."


	2. The spar

**Hey! I'm back, first off all thanks to efarriaz and RRina for reviewing the last chapter. I'm glad you like it.**

**This is only a short chapter, but it sets up what's coming next.**

**I'll be honest, it's a bit weird writing Leo, cos I usually write Donnie. And I haven't done a story like this since 'Of Brothers and Worries' **

**See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on.**

They went into the dojo, stood opposite from each other and bowed. Leo waited. He knew if he waited long enough Raph would get annoyed and –

"Ha!" Raph darted forward with a punch, aiming for Leo's jaw.

Leo blocked it and dodged to the left, hooking his leg around Raph's left leg and pulled it out from under him.

To give absolute credit, Raph managed to catch himself on the way down and back flipped managing to stand up right.

Leo gave him a second to get his bearing, the darted forward again his fist aiming for Raphael's shoulder.

Raph saw it, dodged violently to the right grabbed his brother's hand and threw him onto the mat, taking care not to dis-locate the shoulder as he did so.

Leo felt a surge of pride as his shell hit the mat. Raph was such a good fighter, he thought as he got up. He could look after himself.

Out the corner of his eye Blue saw red's foot aiming for him, and he responded by grabbing it and pulling it up again casing his brother to hit the mat.

As Raph fell with a soft 'oompth' Leo's felt the old feeling of anxiety in his stomach. What was he talking about? If this was a real fight, the foot would be taking his brother out right now. He was in a prime position, lying on the floor like that. All it would take was one his katana through Raph's heart and –

No.

"C'mon Raph." Leo said, trying to sound relaxed. "Getting old or something?"

Raph growled and aimed anther punch which Leo cheerfully dodged while grabbing his brothers arm and throwing him to the mat.

"Okay." Raph said, from the mat. "You win."

Leo's stomach nearly did a 360 flip. "Well, maybe if you didn't go out 'busting heads' every night, you'd be able to win for once." He said, sharply.

He regretted it almost instantly as Raph's eyes flashed dangerously. "First thing, Lame-a-nardo, I don't go out EVERY NIGHT and secondly has it occurred to you that I was going easy on you cos I thought you were lookin' off this mornin'. Not that I get any thanks for it what-so-ever, I don't know why I even bother-."

Leo felt guilt twinge at his heart-strings and he began. "-I do appreciate-"

"-Yeah sure you do, Fearless. Well, stuff it. I'll be in my room, don't come in unless you want a sai hurled at your head." With that threat, Raph stalked off, slamming the dojo door as he did so.

Leo watched him go, the feeling of guilt threatening to eat him alive. Breathing deeply, he sat down on the dojo floor steadily and closed his eyes. Maybe just five minutes of meditation…


	3. Reflection

**Hey! I'm back, thank you Rrina and dondena for reviewing and for everyone who's still sticking with this story.**

**See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on!**

Leo awoke from his meditation feeling relaxed and refreshed. He smiled widely and stretched feeling his shoulders crack satisfactorily before giving a deep, contented sigh and looking at the clock.

Shell, shell, frickin' shell. What was meant to be five minutes of meditation had somehow turned into fifty.

Inwardly panicking he got up and scrambled towards his room. He was behind, so behind…

When he got to the living room he saw Raph and Mikey on the coach watching something on the TV. When he saw his oldest brother Mikey grinned goofily and raised a hand. "Leonardo, hey! You wanna join us?"

Leo stopped and gave his room a lasting look, before turning to his brother. "What are you watching?"

Taking his cue Mikey launched into an animated explanation of the plot of this fantasy/sci-fi show that had a dash of romance in it. Leo nodded in what he thought where the right places and tried to avoid glancing towards his room in order to avoid hurting his youngest brothers feelings, though to be honest he' lost the plot long ago.

Finally Mikey came to a halt and beamed up at him. "So?" He said eagerly. "What do you think?"

Blue scratched the back of his head awkwardly and surreptitiously looked at the clock before glancing to his room again. He was so behind…

"What are you waiting for, Fearless? A written invitation?" Count on Raphael to snap him out his thoughts.

After a quick glare at the back of Red's head, Leo turned to Mikey and softened his gaze before saying, apologetically. "Maybe next time, Mikey. I've got…stuff to do."

Leo wasn't an idiot. He could see the disappointment in Orange's eyes, but his youngest brother hid it with a smile, as always, and said, easily. "No problem-o! I'll catch you next time."

To which Leo nodded at him and bid a hasty retreat. However it wasn't hasty enough to avoid being able to hear Raphael say to Mikey. "Next time, Mikester, if you want to pin him down, put Space Hero's on. That'll get his ass glued to the seat-"

The eldest sighed as he shut the door to his room and looked at the calligraphy pen and paper he'd been so desperate to get to ten minutes ago. Feeling a headache coming on he sank to the floor and buried his head in his hands.

What was he doing? Calligraphy could wait, his brother – his youngest brother no less - wanted to spend quality time with him! With that thought in mind he stood up and went to leave the room.

'Wait!' his brain said, as soon as his hand made contact with the handle. 'You've just made it pretty damn clear to both Mikey AND Raph that you WON'T be joining them, what kind of fool would you look if you turned round and went 'Actually guys, I've changed my mind.' Captain Ryan wouldn't change his mind! He makes a decision and sticks to it and YOU said you were going to practice calligraphy – so do it''

After that internal beat-down Leo sighed and turned back to his little calligraphy table that Donnie had managed to salvage for him about three years ago. He smiled softly remembering the grin on Donnie's face when he'd presented it to him…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"_Close your eyes!"_

"_Why do I have to close my eyes?"_

"_It's a surprise!" His smartest brother giggled. "Now follow me…"_

_Two minute later Donnie said. "Now open your eyes!"_

_Leo did so and his mouth fell open. "A desk! You got me a desk!" He ran over to it and ran his hands along the smooth wood. "It's almost new! Where'd you get this from?"_

"_The junkyard." His brother said proudly. "Raphie helped me carry it. And Mikey gave you some of his paper to get you started."_

"_Aw." Leo gave his brother a hug. "Thanks Donnie!"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

With a wide smile he lifted the pen that Splinter had brought/possibly stole for him and began, as he always did, with writing the alphabet out. As he fluently inked every letter he felt the tension seep out of him and onto the paper. As a result some of the letters looked bent and uneven, but Leo paid that no mind.

When he finally finished Blue felt completely calm and looked at the finished product with a degree of satisfaction. The he reached forward and carefully ripped the page off the notebook and folded it up neatly before placing it in the box of 'letters' he had under his bed, grinning while he did so.

He remembered coming up with that little play on words when he was ten and feeling very proud of himself for coming up with something so witty. Unfortunately the only two who appreciated it where Splinter and Donnie and while Leo was beyond pleased that Splinter liked it he remembered feeling bitterly disappointed that it was only his 'nerdy' brother who liked it.

Shaking his head at his past self, he paused as he contemplated what to write next. After a good few minutes thought Leo finally wrote three words.

I'm sorry Mikey


	4. Exhaustion

**Hey! I'm back, once again thank you to everyone who's favourited, followed and reviewed this story thus far.**

**This is the chapter that sets the scene for the 'letters' element of the title. **

**See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on!**

Leo must have fell asleep at some point because the next thing he knew someone was pounding the door and, going from the way they were hammering it, he gathered they'd been their a while.

"Yo Fearless! It's patrol! Get your shell moving!"

With a groan Leo sat up and rubbed his eyes. "C'min." He mumbled gently.

A pause and then an un-elegant. "What?" From his brother.

With a louder groan Leo got up and said, loudly. "I'm coming!" Before throwing open the door to be greeted with a glare from his immediate younger brother.

"Don wants a word with ya." He said, gruffly, jerking a hand in the direction of the living room.

Leo paused and then nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever, c'mon let's-"

"Whoa, whoa, hold it." Raph gently grabbed his brothers arm. "What is wrong with you today?"

Leave it to Raphael to come straight to the point. However, he couldn't let his brother know that so…

He shrugged, dislodging Raph in the process. "Nothing-"

"-No, don't do that, don't brush me off." Red said, firmly. "I _know _somethings wrong, I mean - I just said Donnie wants a word with you and you just went 'eh' essentially. I mean, where's the Fearless worrying? Where's the 'Is he dead?' 'Is he Injured?' 'Has his lab exploded in his face?' I mean-" Raph took a breath. "-C'mon bro. Just let me in, what is _wrong _with you?"

There was a long pause while Leo reflected the question. Then he said, almost voicelessly. "I don't know." Meeting his brothers concerned eye, Blue let out a little half-hysterical laugh and shrugged. "I don't know. Now, let's go." He said, purposely walking towards the living room. "We've got to do patrol."

Left in the dust, Raph took a deep breath and, muttering under his breath, followed his only older brother.

Walking into the living room, said only older brother clapped his hands together. "Okey! Donnie, you wanted a word?"

His brother looked up from his phone. "Oh, yeah. I need to go to the library. I need to…erm, 'borrow' some books."

Leo narrowed his eyes. "Any reason why you can't just surf the junkyard or ask April rather than, you know, committing a federal offence?"

He could practically feel Raph's eye roll behind him, but, ignoring it, focused on Donnie, fixing him with the almighty 'big-brother gaze'.

His smartest brother let out a little laugh and, putting his phone away, explained. "These are special university books. They'll help me when it comes to fixing stuff."

"What stuff?" Leo asked, keen to understand his brothers workload.

Donnie fixed him with a look and said, pointedly. "You know. Mikey's Gameboy, the smoothie machine that Raph keeps breaking, the plumbing, the camera's, the battleshell-"

"Dude, I think he gets it." Mikey interrupted from his perch on the sofa.

"Yeah, he doesn't want an essay." Raph said, somewhat jokingly from the door.

"No, it's fine." Leo said, fixing Mikey with a big-brother-glare and holding a hand up so Raph could get his meaning as well.

But by then the damage was done and, with an embarrassed smile, Purple gave a shrug and said, vaguely. "Well. You get the picture."

Taking a deep breath and fighting the urge to smack his head against the wall, Leo said, calmly. "Right. Library. Let's go then. C'mon!"

"Whoa, what's biting his shell?" He heard Mikey whisper to Donnie as they left.

Leo gritted his teeth and carried on.

'_Just carry on. Just carry on 'fearless'.' _He kept thinking to himself as they leapt on top of building in the direction of New York City's library. _'Just carry on.'_

Like he always did. No matter what went on in his life he just had to carry on. Like Dory always says 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming.'

Leo smiled to himself. He loved that movie. Always had, always will.

"-Leo, leo!" He jumped slightly and looked to his left where Donnie was looking at him in concern.

"What?"

"We're here." Donnie said, gently, in a manner that suggested he was talking to someone senile. "C'mon, it won't take long." And with that he followed his brothers though the skylight they must have opened at some point.

'Can't believe I missed that.' Leo thought to himself.

After one final check round he followed his brothers into the library, making sure to close the skylight behind him.


	5. a break from the madness

**Hey! I'm back, thanks to Ravenclaw53 and Rrina for reviewing the last chapter.**

**See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on. **

Leo had never been in a library before and, after looking briefly around it, decided he hadn't missed anything major.

On the other hand Donnie was in seventh heaven looking around with all the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store. "Wow!" He was saying, eyes shining. "This is awesome! Look at all of them!"

"Yeah…" Raph said, steadily, running an eye disdainfully over the books. "Awesome. C'mon, Don, let's get what you need and go."

"Alright…" Don said, vaguely, finally tearing his eyes away from the books. "They're this way."

"Yo, Don. I can see some graphic novels. Do you mind if-"

"-Sure, go ahead Mikey."

"-Awesome!" Mikey grinned before kneeling and picking up a superhero novel.

"Right. Raphie, c'mon." Don said, walking away.

"Why me?"

"Cos I need someone watching my back. Now c'mon!"

Raph grumbled something under his breath but followed his immediate younger brother anyway. Leo wasn't surprised. Out of all his brothers Raph had always been the most protective of Donnie. Shaking his head fondly, Leo called after them. "So, you don't need me?"

"No."

Leo paused and scratched his head. "What am I meant to do then?"

A beat and then a snarky. "Maybe you could read a book?" From his brother in purple.

Okay, fair point. With a small sigh Leo turned to the shelves and tried to look for something that would interest him.

Twenty minutes search later, and Blue was disappointed to find that not only did they seem to have no books actually in Japanese they didn't anything except the most basic levels of Martial Arts and Origami.

After all that searching, he found himself in the self-help section. Well. When in Rome…he picked up the nearest one and flicked through it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It felt like mere minutes till a voice said behind him, in Japanese. "Leo. We're going."

He looked up from the beginning of chapter 5 and replied in kind with. "What, already?"

"Yes, well, Brain-Boy has found all the books he wants that both him and me can carry, so we'd better get back before Splinter starts thinking we've been ambushed or something."

Leo looked down at the book and said, hesitantly. "Very well…"

"Bring it with you." Raph said, picking up on his brothers reluctance. "That's what Mikey's doing. He's found about 5 graphic novels he wants."

Blue looked at the book and scrunched his beak up. "Won't the library miss them?"

Raph shrugged. "Eh, who cares? It's not like they're particularly short on books, are they? Now c'mon." He said, switching seamlessly back to English. "Let's go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That had been the day before last. By now Leo had finished the book and was pondering it carefully. There was a chapter that came up with an idea…to write letters to the people you care about in order to explain what you liked about them and what you wished them to change. Of course, that didn't necessarily mean they would feel obliged to change it, but at least they would be aware of the issue.

The idea was growing on blue, to be honest. He wasn't stupid, he realised that his brothers didn't always understand his reasoning and he was certain they felt he was being 'annoying' 'picky' and 'somewhat tyrannical'

His hand closed around the book. He'd do it. He'd write them letters. They deserved to know the reason behind his nagging.

He owed that to them at least.


	6. Dear Mikey

**Hey! I'm back, sorry for the break. Thank you to Ravenclaw53, RRina and DazedMajesty for reviewing the last chapter.**

**See chapter 1 for disclaimer. **

Mikey was sitting on his bed chuckling as he flicked through the pages of his latest comic. Green Lantern was SSSOOO good!

He was so distracted that he nearly didn't notice the piece of paper being shuffled carefully under the door. As a matter of fact it was nearly a quarter of a hour later until he noticed it lying there innocently.

To say Mikey was confused would be a understatement. All his family lived practically less than five feet away so who would be pushing notes under his door was a mystery.

So, with his curiosity piqued, he picked the paper up and saw his name written in beautifully inked calligraphy across the back.

Well. Mystery solved then. It was clearly Leonardo who - for some unknown reason - couldn't speak to him face to face.

He opened the paper and started to read.

_Dear Michelangelo _[Oh great. Full name. Good start]

_Do not be alarmed. I am simply writing you this letter because I feel I need to clarify a few points. _[Okay. Like…]

_Recently I 'borrowed' a book from the library that suggested I should write to my family members explaining things I like about you and things I'd like you to take into consideration. _[What?]

_You are my youngest brother and I love you very much. You are sunshine in my dark world, you always have a smile on your face and an optimism about you that makes it extremely hard for us all to miserable for very long. And let's face it - we all probably need that! _[Well, I know that. Why do you think I do it? For my health?]

_However. _[Oh, here we go.]_ I would like to clarify a few things. I think you think I'm being 'bossy' and 'annoying' when I tell you to not to do things like – for example – stay up all night playing video games. _[Mikey grinned practically seeing the disapproving look of his eldest brothers face]_ Or to pay more attention in training. And fighting. And to life in general._

_However, this is not my intention. Believe me, please, when I say I only say these things because I have visions of you falling behind and as a consequence being stabbed, killed or worse by the Foot _[Mikey briefly wondered what could be worse than being killed, then got a butterfly feeling in his tummy when he realised what his brother was hinting at] _And as I would much rather this didn't happen I nag you about training._

_However I don't want you to get the wrong idea. You are a talented ninja. Out of all of us you are the best at what is called 'Kinetic' learning. That is, you learn through movement and touch and as such you are capable of picking up ninjutsu easily after only being showed once or twice. I personally consider this to be brilliant as you may have noticed it takes me a lot longer to commit the moves to memory, hark why I am forever training! _

_I think that is everything I wanted to say. You might be feeling a tad confused as to why I've written you this letter and if you want anything explaining to you further you know where I am._

_Your loving __ビッグブラザー__._

Mikey – suddenly feeling himself overwhelmed with emotion – lay back on his bed. He needed to think a few things over.


	7. Dear Donnie

**Hey! I'm back, thank you to Rrina, DazedMajesty and Ravenclaw53 for reviewing the last chapter.**

**Oh, by the way Rrina? You were right…**

**See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on.**

Donnie was in the middle of an experiment, trying to make Raph's bike go faster, when he heard a soft kind of rustling sound and instantly pushed his safety goggles up. He'd learnt from previous happenings that unexpected noises generally weren't a good thing.

However, he relaxed when he saw it was just a piece of white paper. Probably one of Mikey's stupid jokes again. Nothing that couldn't wait till he was done. Just as he was about to put it desk he noticed Leo's loopy handwriting elegantly spelling his full name and instantly Raph's bike was forgotten.

Opening it carefully he sat down in his chair and began to read:

_Dear Donatello_

_Do not be alarmed. _[Okay…]_ I am simply writing you this letter because I feel I need to clarify a few points. _[At this Don took his goggles off and placed them on the work bench. This letter was clearly going to need a little bit of attention]

_Recently I 'borrowed' a book from the library that suggested I should write to my family members explaining things I like about you and things I'd like you to take into consideration. _[Well, this was good start, Don thought grimly. I'm surprised it's not three sheets long]

_Although saying that I would first like to begin by saying: Thank you. Thank you for using your incredible intellect to help us in battles and in normal day-to-day life. I think it is extremely safe to say we would all be dead long ago if not for you. So again thank you. _[No problem. It's what I'm here for.]

_I also wish to thank you for the various non-intellectuall things you do for us, such as listening to us when we're upset and healing us after we're injured. Raphael in particular should be especially grateful for that. _[Trust him to get a dig at Raphie in]

_However I would like you to work on a couple of things for me. I know you have a habit of brushing me off whenever I remind you to do essential things like, you know. Sleeping. And eating. And training – and I know you probably don't consider training essential but one day you're going to have to admit Donnie, in our lifestyle it really is. _[Oh yeah. Really easy for me to train and do everything else when I have so. Much. Else. To fix]

_Now I know what you're thinking. You have far to much on your p[late for all that and that's why you're working through the night to begin with. But I have a solution. I plan to ask Raph and Mikey – Mikey especially – to try and decide if what they need fixing is absolutely essential and try to figure it out themselves. I also suggest that you teach us a couple of basic things like checking the cameras and perimeter's and doing basic – very basic in my case – fixing. Also I thought – if Raphael is alright with the idea – it might be a good idea to teach him a couple more things about first aid. I know you've covered basics already, but I mean, like, the REALLY nitty gritty stuff. After all, doctors have nurses, don't they?_

_Just…think about it is all I'm saying. And don't forget if YOU ever need someone to talk to, I'm always somewhere._

_So. I think that is everything I wanted to say. You might be feeling a tad confused as to why I've written you this letter and if you want anything explaining to you further you know where I am._

_Your loving __ビッグブラザー__._

Donnie gently put the letter down and massaged his fore-head. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to go to bed after all…


	8. Dear Raph

**Hey! I'm back. Thank you to everyone's who's still favourited and followed this thing and to those who reviewed the last chapter.**

**You might be able to guess who's next…**

**Warning: Minor uses of swear words. **

**See chapter one for the disclaimer and let's crack on!**

Raphael was in the dojo, punching his punching bag. After helping Donnie carry those stupid books back his muscles were killing him and he needed a workout.

Being distracted as he was he didn't notice a small letter pushed under the door. As a matter of fact he was SO distracted he nearly slipped on said letter and went flying. After letting out a series of loud expletives he snatched the letter up and noticing Leo's loopy handwriting scrunched it into a ball and stormed to his brothers room.

Without even knocking he slammed open the door to his only older brother's room and snapped. "What's this, Lameanardo?"

Leo – who had [ironically] been enjoying a book on the calmness of the mind – looked up and said, with just a touch of sarcasm. "I believe it's a letter, Raphael. I know we don't get very many, but I trust you at least understand the concept?"

Raph's eyes narrowed and his spat. "Cue the crap, Leo! What are you sending letter to me for? We live in the same place!"

To which Leo said. "Maybe if you read it, Raphie, then you'll understand? I'll wait." Before picking his book up and continuing reading it.

Smoke practically coming out his ears Raph stormed back to his room and after ranting to Spike for a little bit, opened the letter.

_Dear Raph. _

_Do not be alarmed. _[Yeah. Cos the best way NOT to alarm someone it to start it off like that]_ I am simply writing you this letter because I feel I need to clarify a few points. _

_Recently I 'borrowed' a book from the library that suggested I should write to my family members explaining things I like about you and things I'd like you to take into consideration. _[Oh great. Raph thought. This is gonna take a while. But, he must admit, he was intrigued.]

_I would like to start by saying you might be a little…shall we say suspicious about the length of this letter considering the amount of times we argue in a week! But, as much as you do drive me to distraction at times I do love you a great deal, even if I don't say it as much as I do to Donnie and Mikey. _

_I know you struggle with self-esteem at times and I am sorry if I have in any way contributed towards that. _[Yes. Raph thought bitterly. You have. Bloody perfect Leonardo…] _But I want to say that I think you have many, many good qualities about you, not least your willingness to run head-first into danger, which I know I have nagged you about many, many, MANY times before, but it is very good and I admire it. I'm much to logical to rely on instinct and it's also safe to say you are very protective over your brothers and therefore your protective instinct have saved both Donnie and Mikey's - and indeed my own – lives. _[Raph smiled at that. Nice to see it being acknowledged]

_You are also good at first aid – so good In fact I have suggested in Donnie's letter he should teach you slightly more complex first aid in order to help us in the future – and you are actually quite technological – better than me certainly. [Although I admit that is not a particularly high bar to beat] _[Raph chuckled to himself. That was a severe understatement]

_You are also a very good knitter and I still treasure the various items you have been kind enough to make me over the years. _[Raph grinned widely. Leo would like the Christmas present he was planning to make him then]

_You are also good with animals – an ability I wish I had but it's very safe to say I don't. [Raph laughed out loud at that. Animals hated Leo with a passion and despite various theories and experiments from Donatello about WHY the exact course still remained unknown.]_

_You also care about things very passionately – which I believe is part the reason you find it necessary to fling yourself into danger at every opportunity. I do worry about this, which is the main reason why I 'nag' you on a regular basis, because I worry that one day you're either going to come back injured to such a state that Donatello is unable to fix you – OR you will be dead in a ditch somewhere and we won't know where._

_Basically what I am taking an age to say is: I love you, I would PREFER you to not fling yourself headfirst into danger - although I acknowledge that is unlikely to happen as I know you will NEVER remain in the shadows if someone else is being threatened in any way – just…_

_TRY to remember what I said about NOT ending up dead in a ditch somewhere? Please? For me?_

_That's all I wanted to say. Any questions you know where I am._

_Thank you for being there for me, your loving __ビッグブラザー__._

After thinking about the letter's words for a good while, Raph headed to Leo's room.

Once again sauntering in without knocking Raph said, abruptly. "You're right."

Leo looked up, surprise etched on his face. "Sorry?"

"You. Are. Right. I'm not going to stop putting myself in danger. I'm NOT going to just….stand by and do NOTHING while some arsehole does whatever he wants to…various different people. Let alone you lot. BUT I will try not to…go to far if possible. I can't promise. But…I can try. And I'll talk to Donnie. See if we can get this technology and first aid thing started."

"We can start it next week if you want." Donnie said, from behind him, making Raph nearly have a heart attack in the process. "I'm sorry!" Don said, after Raph had yelled at him for a little bit. "I didn't know you would be here. I want to talk to Leo."

Raph shrugged. "Go ahead. I'm done." He said, before stalking off.

Donnie watched him go before heading into Leo's room and shutting the door. "Leo…"

"Donnie…"

His purple banded brother shuffled a bit before saying, a little guiltily. "I…just wanted to let you know…I've, I've turned everything off. I'm going to bed now."

Leo wanted to yell and cheer, but realising it wouldn't be appropriate said, levelly. "I see. That's good." He smiled. "Have a good nights sleep. Don't worry if you sleep in a little. I'm happy for you to either come to training late or skip it completely. Whichever one necessary."

Don smiled. "Thank you. And…Leo, _thank you_."

Leo nodded again.

After Don left he stayed up a bit, waiting to see whether Mikey would pop by as well. However he didn't so Leo turned the light off and went to sleep.

He had the feeling that things would get a bit better from now on.


End file.
